Getting Through

I'm sad that the holidays are something to be gotten through, but for me, they are and they always have been.  I am a hermit and the holidays involve waaaaay too much interaction for me.  There's serious infringement on my hermiting and I find myself resentful of the intrusion but unable to do anything about it.  Yes, I am an adult, but certain expectations of others cannot be avoided.

It takes me most of January to get myself back on track.  I'm not a religious person by any means, but I take a few days at the end of the year to visit a monastery (I stay at a retreat house there) and re-center after the stress of the holidays.  It takes everything I have to appear normal on an every day basis, and the holidays just pack a lot of activities and interaction into a period of time that doesn't allow me to breathe in between, and I'm so exhausted from by two weeks of all this trying to be normal and interact with people without frightening or offending them.  The best part of the monastery retreat is the fact that it is totally silent -- the only time anyone speaks is during prayer.  I can't explain the solace that comes from this place of quiet and peace, taking these simple meals in a small dining room with a group of people I don't have to talk to, at all.  I meditate and reflect on my past year and plan for the year to come, and when I leave, I've built some of my reserves back.  I don't know if I could make it through the holidays without knowing this awaited me at the end of the year.